Coming Out of the Upside Down: Embracing your Authentic Self

Jumping onto the Stranger things hype! I noticed a lot of useful themes in the series and thought it maybe useful to collate them here.

In the finale of Stranger Things, one message rises above the monsters, the battles, and the supernatural chaos: you survive by becoming who you really are, to your true self.

As a counsellor, this is a theme I see echoed every day in the therapy room.

The Upside Down isn’t just a parallel universe—it’s a powerful metaphor for the parts of ourselves we fear, suppress, or hide. The finale reminds us that healing doesn’t come from destroying those parts, but from integrating them. You may have heard the term shadow self before this is the “upside down” referred to in Stranger Things.

Image ©️ Netflix

The Cost of Hiding

Many of the characters spend seasons concealing who they are:

• their fear

• their sensitivity

• their queerness

• their grief

• their need for connection

In counselling, we often discover that clients aren’t struggling because they are “too much” or “not enough,” but because they’ve learned to disconnect from their authentic self to stay safe. Just like in Stranger Things, hiding works—until it doesn’t.

Eventually, what we suppress does eventually find another way out: anxiety, burnout, anger, numbness, or a feeling of being lost.

Image ©️ Netflix

Authenticity Is Not Fearless — It’s Brave

The finale doesn’t portray authenticity as confidence or perfection. Instead, it shows that:

• you can be terrified and still show up

• you can be broken and still be powerful

• you can need others and still be whole

In therapy, authenticity often begins quietly:

• “I don’t actually feel okay.”

• “This isn’t who I want to be anymore.”

• “I’m tired of pretending.”

These moments are acts of courage.

Being your authentic self doesn’t mean the fear disappears. It means you stop letting fear make your choices.

Supportive relationships can be healing

Image ©️ Netflix

One of the most therapeutic messages of Stranger Things is that no one survives alone.

The characters don’t win because they’re the strongest individually, but because they let themselves be seen, supported, and loved—exactly as they are.

This mirrors the counselling process:

• Healing happens in connection

• Growth happens when someone witnesses your truth without trying to change it

• Authenticity deepens when it’s met with acceptance

Many clients fear that if they show their real self, they’ll be rejected. The finale offers a counter-story: what saves us is being known and being seen.

Integrate the parts of self don't eliminate them

The goal isn’t to eliminate the Upside Down.

It’s to stop letting it control the narrative.

Image ©️ Netflix

In counselling, authenticity means integrating all parts of yourself:

• the strong and the scared

• the hopeful and the grieving

• the past and the becoming

The finale teaches us that wholeness doesn’t come from denying darkness—it comes from facing it with compassion.

Stepping Into Your Own Finale

You don’t need a dramatic ending to live authentically.

Sometimes it looks like:

• setting a boundary for the first time

• telling the truth about how you feel

• choosing rest instead of performance

• allowing yourself to change

Like the characters we’ve grown with, authenticity is a coming-of-age process that never really ends. And is that maybe that the real message of Stranger Things.

The moment you stop hiding is the moment you start coming home to yourself.

Reflection Questions: Meeting Your Authentic Self

You might like to take these slowly. There are no right or wrong answers — only honest ones

Noticing the “Upside Down”

• Are there parts of yourself you tend to hide or push away? What do you fear might happen if they were seen?

• When you’re feeling anxious, stuck, or disconnected, what might that part of you be trying to communicate?

• What feels most “unsafe” about being fully yourself right now?

Masks and Survival

• What versions of yourself do you show to different people (work, family, friends)?

• Which of these versions feels most tiring to maintain?

• When did you first learn that hiding parts of yourself was necessary?

Moments of Authenticity

• When do you feel most like yourself?

• Who, if anyone, do you feel safest being honest with?

• Can you remember a time when being real felt freeing, even if it was uncomfortable?

  
  
  

Fear, Courage, and Choice

• What fear tends to hold you back from being authentic?

• What might courage look like for you — not in a big way, but in a small, everyday moment?

• If fear didn’t make the decision, what choice would you make?

Connection and Support

• Who supports the real you, not just the “coping” you?

• What helps you feel seen and accepted?

• What would it be like to let someone know how things really are for you

  
  

Integration and Compassion

• Are there parts of yourself you judge or wish were different?

• How might you treat those parts with curiosity instead of criticism?

• What would it mean to accept all of yourself, not just the parts you like?

Stepping Forward

• What is one small way you could be more authentic this week?

• What boundary, truth, or need have you been avoiding?

• What would “coming home to yourself” look like right now?

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