Like layers of an onion we all have different layers to us. My definition of myself was someone who was active, loved Crossfit workouts, walking and running my dogs, fit-ish, strong and always on the go with lots of energy for whatever life threw at me.I love travel and exploring new places. Since I fell and broke my leg 3 months ago none of those definitions of me apply to me anymore (temporarily!) so where does that leave me and my sense of me- my ego. Can I be me without all those things in my life? Because what does it mean to be me if all of those things are inaccessible to me? It made me think a lot about myself and people who who have accidents/ illnesses and their definitions of themselves are changed permanently. How does someone cope with that? Once all those external definitions are stripped back who or what is at the core of your being?
Can you sit in the darkness with that void? Or are there other layers to uncover? What does a change in circumstances mean and does it leave you feeling empty or does it enrich your life as you can uncover what is beyond the first few layers that are there?
For me, I found a patience and acceptance of circumstances beyond my control, that despite loving all my activities that I can be content just being and not moving. Does being busy mean a constant distraction from my inner self?
There is a great exercise called the Who am I? exercise. Get paper and pen and set a timer for between 2-5 minutes. Note anything and everything that comes to mind (this is called free association), including all of the things that you identify with, that resonate with you, and that you love or care about.
Then over the next few weeks try and notice. when you define yourself to yourself or to others. awareness of who you think. you are and. if there are differences between this and how you think of yourself and portray yourself to others is a great self reflection and understanding of self.