top of page
Search

Understanding Polyvagal Theory: How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Emotions, Relationships, and Healing



Have you ever noticed how your body instantly reacts before your mind catches up — like when your heart races in a tense meeting, or you freeze up in a conflict? These aren’t just emotional reactions; they’re deeply rooted in how your nervous system works. I often ask clients to stop when recounting an upsetting incident to check in with their bodies and see what their body is telling them.


Polyvagal Theory was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges and helps explain why we feel what we feel, how we connect with others, and what happens in our bodies during stress and trauma.



What Is Polyvagal Theory?


At its core, Polyvagal Theory is a way of understanding the autonomic nervous system — the part of your nervous system that controls things you don’t have to think about, like heart rate, breathing, and digestion.


Traditionally, we’ve thought of this system as having two main branches:


    •    Sympathetic Nervous System – “Fight or flight”

    •    Parasympathetic Nervous System – “Rest and digest”


But Polyvagal Theory adds a third layer — and with it, a more nuanced understanding of how humans respond to safety, danger, and connection.


VAGUS NERVE KNOWN AS THE WANDERER AS WANDERS THROUGHOUT THE BODY
VAGUS NERVE KNOWN AS THE WANDERER AS WANDERS THROUGHOUT THE BODY

The Three States of the Nervous System (According to Polyvagal Theory)


Dr. Porges introduced the idea that the parasympathetic nervous system has two distinct branches, not just one. These three branches — or “neural circuits” — shape how we respond to the world:


1. Ventral Vagal State – Social Engagement (Safe & Connected)


This is the “safe mode” of the nervous system. When we feel secure, our ventral vagus nerve supports calm states, open communication, and connection. You feel present, grounded, and socially engaged.


Example: Laughing with a friend, cuddling with a pet, or calmly resolving a conflict.


2. Sympathetic State – Fight or Flight (Mobilised)


When we detect danger, our sympathetic system kicks in. Your heart rate increases, muscles tense, and you’re ready to fight or run. It’s a survival response.


Example: Snapping in anger during an argument, or feeling anxious before a big presentation.


3. Dorsal Vagal State – Shutdown or Freeze (Immobilised)


This is the oldest evolutionary part of the vagus nerve. When escape isn’t possible, the body may shut down to protect itself. This can look like numbness, disconnection, depression, or dissociation.


Example: Feeling frozen in fear, emotionally numb, or “checked out” during stress.



Polyvagal Theory teaches us that safety is a physiological state. Our bodies constantly scan for cues of safety or danger through a process called neuroception (automatic, subconscious detection)- meaning it happens before your conscious awareness kicks in.


This has many implications for:


    •    Mental health: Trauma, anxiety, and depression often stem from nervous system dysregulation.

    •    Therapy: Effective treatment often requires helping the body feel safe, not just changing thoughts.

    •    Relationships: Connection becomes possible only when both people feel safe in their nervous systems.

    •    Parenting: Children thrive when caregivers help co-regulate their nervous systems.



Nervous System Healing


Understanding your nervous system helps you respond to stress and trauma with compassion — instead of shame or self-blame.


Some ways to support nervous system regulation include:

    •    Breathwork: Slow, deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve.


    •    Safe relationships: Being seen, heard, and accepted can activate the ventral vagal system.


    •    Movement: Exercise can help release fight-or-flight energy.


    •    Safe and Sound Protocol helps regulate the inner ear muscles to experience more states of safety/ ventral vagal.


    •    Therapeutic approaches: Somatic therapies (like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or Internal Family Systems) often work with the nervous system to process trauma.



In conclusion

Polyvagal Theory reminds us that the path to feeling better more often begins not in the mind, but in the body.


 
 
 

Recent Posts

See All
Safe and sound Protocol

I have recently introduced this exciting new listening therapy into my practise. I felt that for some people who struggle with...

 
 
 

Comments


bottom of page